Ashe Background

Ashe Background

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Pure Jealousy

Jealousy is the only word to describe Eric's feelings when he sees me reading a book. When I start reading a book, I literally spend any moment of free time I have trying to finish it. By free time I mean the kid's nap time and bed time. So, as soon as they are down my nose is stuck in a book. However, my hubby feels that I tune him out and the rest of the world until I am done with that book. He will sit there and purposely try to start a conversation with me and if I don't answer him within a certain amount of time he will say "I just love talking to myself" or if I do answer him but just a couple minutes later he replies with, "Oh, now you answer" It is quite hilarious, really. So, basically what I did is I dared Eric to read just one of the books that I have read. Once he did that we would be able to talk about it together which would help him on not feeling left out. Within a second he replies with"Ugh, I hate to read...I will wait for the movie to come out and then we can talk about it". Suit yourself!!

Reading is very therapeutic for me and sometimes I like escaping my reality for fiction every now and then. Especially when I am stuck at a doctor's office knowing the topics of discussion are going to include the phrases "She's not reaching this milestone", "When we cut her scalp open" and "IF she reaches adult mentality".......blah, blah,blah. Some people may use drugs and alcohol to escape...I use books.

Below are a few of the books that I have read and liked/loved:

The Russian Concubine and The Girl from Junchow - Kate Furnivall
The Middle Place- Kelly Corrigan
The Shack -William P. Young
The Nazi's Officer's Wife-Edith Hahn Beer
Something Borrowed and Something Blue-Emily Giffin
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo- Steig Larson
The Help-Kathryn Stockett
and... the infamous Nora Roberts - Birthright, Blood Brothers, The Hollow and The Pagan Stone.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Unexpected Visit..but the best kind!

This weekend my parents; Grandpa Jerry and Grandma Margie surprised us with a visit. I knew they were going on a mini vacation and were going to be riding on the bike but I was told it was going to be northern New Mexico and not southern Texas. It was so great to see them and it seemed like they brought relaxation with them because it gave us a chance to stop worrying about the upcoming surgery. My mom treated me to a wonderful massage and later that night the grandparents took over the kiddos so that Eric and I could escape for an evening away. Thanks Grandma and Papo!!

Ethan looking too comfortable on the bike. I hope he doesn't get any ideas!

Gracie didn't want to have a thing to do with the bike.
She wouldn't even stand by it for a picture.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

End of July

Yesterday we got to sit down with the doctor who will conducting Lexie's surgery and she has us scheduled for the end of July. Now all we need to do is meet with the plastic surgeon who will also be helping out with the surgery and then just wait for them to schedule an actual date that works for everyone. It is a 2 part surgery and the second part will happen when she is closer to being 1. Unfortunately, it is a pretty intense and invasive surgery. They basically cut a zig-zag line from ear to ear and push the scalp back in order to cut the plates in half. It is a 5 hour surgery and she will be in the hospital for at least 5 days afterward.
Of course, Lexie is doing great and is just such a happy, mellow baby. She loves to coo and will do it sometimes really loudly when she feels like she is being ignored. She is getting to be so active and is currently working on rolling over. I need to move her leg and her butt to start it but she takes over from there and will complete the roll. She is really good at sitting assisted and is still a champ at the dinner table. Ethan and Gracie are the ones though that can get her to smile like it is going out of style. Even with everything going on, the love that they show Lexie just makes my heart melt. Gracie calls her 'Beautiful Lexie' and "Lex so pretty'. Ethan has that gentle sweetness towards her, and I often catch him holding her hand while we drive around in the car. They understand that she is different and doesn't do things babies her own age are doing, but being such innocent beings it doesn't change their feelings about her being their little sister. They are something beautiful.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Ethan showing off his Mohawk!!

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Screw Holland!

Today we found out that Lexie has Craniosynostosis and will be needing surgery to correct it. Her head has only grown one centimeter since she has been born and we made an appointment with her neurologist who referred us to the neurosurgeon. I thought we would of been given a helmet and maybe some advice to how we should accept that her brain may not be growing. However, the moment the neurosurgeon saw her, he was convinced that she has Craniosynostosis with multi suture stenosis. Basically it means that all the plates in her head have come together and fused themselves permanently. If we don't get it fixed, her brain will never be able to expand due to being closed in. After a CT scan, her neurosurgeon was correct and has referred us to the Children's hospital in San Antonio that are prepared to take on a surgery like this. It is apparent that she will have to have the surgery but we are hoping that she has the less invasive type of surgery because it will result in less scaring, less blood loss, less surgery time and hospital stay time. The other surgery is really ......... let's just say not the way we want to go. Ever since Lexie came into our lives I have become a google champion. The one thing though is sometimes the images can do mare damage than good. Now we are just waiting for the referral to process so that we can meet with the doctor's and have a consolation before we proceed with the surgery.

I guess the only thing that we can do and ask you to do is to pray that Lexie comes out of her surgery better than when she went in and that she doesn't have any pain. I am so consumed right now by all of this that my thoughts are all over the place and I am just trying to hang on. I am so thankful that we are surrounded by such loving friends and family because they keep me moving. Even though they have no idea what we are going through and can only help so much, their prayers and love are appreciated. It is getting hard to have to tell people more about the complications that are Lexie related because it sometimes feels like it is taking over our lives. Like it is one more thing after another that keeps suffocating us. I often hear "What more can be thrown at you... and are you not in a mess screaming at the top of your lungs." The plain truth is because I have two other babies who are relying on me to be their "stable" Mommy and I know the moment I lose it, I will never get it back. I have to remember that they are equally important in my life and that they need my attention just as much as Lexie does. I would rather cry myself to sleep then have them feel like their lives are short of anything but perfect.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010