When Ethan was small enough to sleep on my chest, I would
sing to him a favorite hymn of mine called "Will the Circle be Unbroken". It's a beautiful, yet sad song about someone
saying goodbye to their mother. The
beautiful part to me was that the mother had such a profound presence in her
child's life that by the heartache that followed her death, you could just
imagine her selfless love and unending devotion.
I don't know if it
was the new mother nervousness or if I fully understood my place in Ethan's
world, but it reiterated all that I had been told prior to motherhood. Our world would shift and he became our
everything. Later they became our everything.
Before I was a mother, I just thought we had to raise them through the
first 18 years in reasonable shape and send them on their merry ways hoping
they would stop by occasionally. Yeah, I
was naïve and reasonable shape is sub-par. I want them to feel that our love
for them is unwavering and never ending. During those moments when we have to
be strict parents instead of the cool friends, we truly want them to be the
best person they can be because of us, not in spite of us. My goal as a mother far exceeds the
minimum. How they view me and their
childhood will be a testament of not only myself, but how they approach
parenthood as well. Hence, the unbroken
circle that we, as parents, strive for.
There are days when I feel like I'm channeling Joan Crawford
and not June Clever, but Mother's Day is one of those beautiful days when the
kids make me feel like the best mommy in the world. They deliver handwritten notes and drawings
telling me why they love me so much. I
went into this Mother's Day fully expecting all those wonderful little gifts
because I look forward to them all year long.
However, I was completely blown away by the gift that Eric and the kids
had made for me. They sat me in front of
the screen and as soon as it started, I was a goner. The tears came and my heart filled up. I could watch this video every day for the
rest of my life and be perfectly happy!
