Unbroken Circle

When Ethan was small enough to sleep on my chest, I would sing to him a favorite hymn of mine called "Will the Circle be Unbroken".  It's a beautiful, yet sad song about someone saying goodbye to their mother.  The beautiful part to me was that the mother had such a profound presence in her child's life that by the heartache that followed her death, you could just imagine her selfless love and unending devotion.

 I don't know if it was the new mother nervousness or if I fully understood my place in Ethan's world, but it reiterated all that I had been told prior to motherhood.  Our world would shift and he became our everything. Later they became our everything.  Before I was a mother, I just thought we had to raise them through the first 18 years in reasonable shape and send them on their merry ways hoping they would stop by occasionally.  Yeah, I was naïve and reasonable shape is sub-par. I want them to feel that our love for them is unwavering and never ending.  During those moments when we have to be strict parents instead of the cool friends, we truly want them to be the best person they can be because of us, not in spite of us.  My goal as a mother far exceeds the minimum.  How they view me and their childhood will be a testament of not only myself, but how they approach parenthood as well.  Hence, the unbroken circle that we, as parents, strive for.

There are days when I feel like I'm channeling Joan Crawford and not June Clever, but Mother's Day is one of those beautiful days when the kids make me feel like the best mommy in the world.  They deliver handwritten notes and drawings telling me why they love me so much.  I went into this Mother's Day fully expecting all those wonderful little gifts because I look forward to them all year long.  However, I was completely blown away by the gift that Eric and the kids had made for me.  They sat me in front of the screen and as soon as it started, I was a goner.  The tears came and my heart filled up.  I could watch this video every day for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy!